CHANGE=A NEW CHAPTER ONE....

Highlights of.....2009.....it's a Wrap!!

2009-12-29T12:28:00.000-08:00

Jan....David's children came to Greenwood and stayed a week a first in 5 yrs.! I had my 13th back surgery!

Feb.....David left my healing process began!

March....Was walking up to 5 miles a day! David came back home!

April....Brittany became a teenager the big 13 wow! I turn my life completely to god to guide me and show me the life he has had planned for me all along!David left to get his sobriety!

May......David came home for the last time to close the chapters of our story, unknowingly to both of us!

June....Aunt Libby passed Me, Britt, and Dad head to Pa. and Md. for 15 days!David's grandmother passed the same weekend! Two wonderful people completed their stories on this earth!

July....Grand opening of the "Rooster", I crossed paths with two of the most amazing people in the world Erin and Bethany (chancho)...they added so much to ny story and will always be forever grateful to have them be apart of my story and the chapters ahead! Kenya...is in my future!

Aug...Me and David close our chapter for good!Work,work,work.....I started running on a daily bases!!!Signed up for my first 5k (Steps for sobriety)Convinced my co-workers / friends to join in for the cause!

Sept....completed my first 5k, me and Erin decide to take on the challenge of a half marathon!Training begins! TMC 36! Still single, not wanting to fill that void, taking time for me!

Oct. ....Lots of work, and running! Many many laughs shared with friends and co-workers! Me and Bethany go to see Donald Miller Oh, what an awesome time!

Nov....ran the "Governor's Cup" half marathon!My life is getting back to normal! I began dating! Met some really amazing people Robert, Kenny,and Jerry!Had an awesome Thanksgiving with my family! Ate my first pumpkin pie and I loved it made by the amazing Chanchos!

Dec....I turned 35! I met the man of my dreams, my soul mate, my future, Kevin!Lost 45lbs to date!

2009.....another year gone.... but documented to be reference too for my next chapters of 2010!!

Mr. Right VS. Mr. Right Now...

2009-12-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

In the last month or so, I have finally picked up the pieces in the relationship dept. of my life and began to move forward! Something I thought would never happen after my last relationship!

But I can say that be for I made this big decision I did everything possible to prepare my self and my heart to make sure that this was the right time to take the chance of meeting Mr.Right!

You know as funny as it may seem that it what most women are truly out there to find! The perfect man and companion to share their life and story with.

But in all reality we all know that their is no perfect person! We all have our fault and we all have our demons. The truth is we should not be looking for any one at all,much less for the perfect one!

This is what leads us to these, crazy disastrous relationships we end up in!

When you are looking it's kind of like you are shopping! You know exactly what you want and you are out to find it and make it yours!

In the reality of things if you would just stop shopping and let things happen as god has set in his plan for you!Your path will cross with your Mr.Right and you will no longer have to settle for Mr.Right now!!!

I know this to be true b/c I truly believe I have crossed paths with my Mr. Right!!!! And this all came when I was not looking...

Small talk...

2009-12-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

Today as I was finishing up at the gym from my morning work out! I found myself in conversation with a couple other ladies that are early morning regulars like me! I have seen them several time in passing in the locker room or around the gym! Always greeting them with a smile or a simple hello or goodbye.But not til today did I take time to have conversation with them.

Not that I actually took time we just happen to be in the locker room finishing up at the same time!I'm not one to make small with strangers! It usually takes time for me to feel the person out as to whether or not I could actually relate to them in someway or some how? I know that sounds weird or maybe even shallow to some but, I have reasoning!

Today was the perfect example!The conversation started of really good, small talk of one ladies trip to Disney,another chimed in to tell of her adventures there!Family vacations seem to be the topic of the day.Easy enough I thought as I joined in telling one of my all time favorite vacation stories!

But sadly to say as always the conversation turned from family vacations to a subject easy to offend anyone, religion! I'm not one to shy from conversation on the subject in fact I love any opportunity I get to share my testimony of how the lord has and is working in my life!

What struck the nerve this morning was the remark of one of the ladies and how people were taking" Merry Christmas" and replacing it with "Happy Holidays"! It saddens my heart to know that we must now pay close attention to how we "wish" someone anything! But that's my opinion And I have a right to express it! Back to the offensive, as the conversation continued I eased my way out of it and listened! Only to hear one lady make the remark of how Surprised she was to see a "Merry Christmas" sign outside one of our local Chinese restaurants. Then the lady that initiated the subject made a remark that made me thankful I left the conversation! And even more so that I was also on my y y out the locker room!

The statement....

Well, why would they put a sign like that up they don't believe in Jesus!

As I left the locker room I was infuriated with her remark, but more so at myself for not defending what I knew was right!Correcting her thoughts on who? Or what race loves Jesus? In my world I want everyone to love my Jesus

New moon

2009-11-23T18:41:00.000-08:00

Over the last couple of days there has been a mad frenzy over "New Moon" not the one in the sky we look upon every night! But the movie from the Twilight series of books?

With all of this excitement going on about these two little words it came to no surprise to me as I was going through my photos tonight.And I came across this pic that I found it only appropriate to blog about "The New Moon"!

I was in awe a couple of weeks ago when I managed to take this beautiful picture. The sky was completely lit up from the darkness of the night by this one round object in the sky.I could not help but to want catch a snap shot of what most take for granite!

I'm sure there were others out there that saw the same beautiful thing I did. I have to wonder what their thoughts were when they seen the big over sized object in the sky?Taking all the attention of the million stars twinkling in the sky!Glowing like a big ball of fire!

The thought that came to my mind was during the day we can not see the moon.But it is there out there in the daytime sky, it just not in eyes view!But when the day turns to night it appears no questions asked shining it light!

Just the same we can not see our "God" but he is out there! And if we truly know that he is out there, in the dark times of our life he will all appear with no questions ask, to offer a light to help guide us through it!

So, next time you are out at night and you catch a glance of a " New Moon". If you by chance take time to give it just a moment of thought, remember this there is a brighter light out there if just believe!

No Subject....

2009-11-20T20:22:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago I received a message titled no subject from a friend I have not seen since the eighth grade (22 yrs. ago...shh don't tell anyone I'm getting old)! Wow, that seems like a life time ago! But any way I can honestly say she was one of the few people I went through elementary and middle school with that has always seem to cross my mind from time to time!

I would often wonder how she was doing? Where she ended up? Did she marry? Just the basic inquiries that some one may have about the people of their past! I never went as far a doing a people search on her or in thing but I did wonder!

Then one day I guess about 6 or 7 months ago as I was surfing the net and checking up on my myspace page I happen to see that she had a profile and posted a comment one of our mutual friend's pages from back in the day.I was so glad I was able to make contact!

But sadly to say I guess so many years had past, we never got together in person or talked on the phone. I guess her profile answered all the questions I had for her! And mine probably did the same for her in return!

So, when I got the e-mail it kind of took me by surprise!But I must say I anxious to see what it said. As I began to read her e-mail my heart just began to smile and I was honestly touched by her words!You see She was writing me to tell me that she had clicked on my link I had pasted to my page on facebook and that this blog had really touched her life! She went on to say that she was having some very trying times in her life right now and through my blog I had become an inspiration to her.

I was just simply over joyed that my blog had in 11 days of my first post did part of what I set out for it to do. Now It was time for me to put gods plan for me in this situation to work personally!

I took the time to e-mail her back to tell her what a blessing her email was to me, but more importantly to let her know god had blesses me with all of these wonderful new things going on in my life. And that he would do the same for her if she found it in her her heart to turn all her trials over to him. I also invited her to visit my church and then ended my e-mail letting her know she would be in my prayers.That I loved her but more importantly God loved her.I figured I would give it a couple of days and I would check in on her!

Well tonight when I got home she had sent another e-mail this one in reply to the one I had sent! She is considering making a visit to my church and giving this whole life of living for god a chance! I again was overwhelmed with joy. I knew my prayers had worked if she had just let god cross her mind and in her heart for just one split second, you see the god I know is an awesome god and is capable of anything if we believe and have faith! I myself believe and have faith that god is going to have another one of his lost children find their way back to him!

So tonight as I began to blog I thought to myself "No Subject?"that email was titled all wrong! The subject was there just not put in the header for me to see, If I wanted to know what the e-mail was about I was going to have to open it up and read it!

That's how I feel the life of living with god is for people who are lost. They can not actually see God! But if they would just open up their hearts they would know he was really here!!

Obedient........

2009-11-18T19:16:00.000-08:00

Today, I once again set out to what some would call reliving my youth, I like to say I'm just being me for once with out the fear of what others may or may not think of me!!Today's adventure consisted getting my second piercing in the last 3 weeks!

This one just happens to be in my nose!Compliments of "Pleasure Points" right here in the "Emerald City" it self! Since I got my last piercing I have jokingly said on several different occasions that I was on a mission to get more One in lip, brow,tongue,and nose!

I say that it was in a jokingly manner because in the past that's all it really was. Even though I deep down loved the way they looked on people and thought in so many way that they would fit me and my personality! I never had the courage to get them or should I just say be myself!

But in the recent months I have been living my life for me (and the lord of course).I have truly set myself some goals to meet and things I want to get accomplished, that I would have never dreamed of doing before. I just truly want to be me! And I now know I can be as long I have god by my side it really not that big of a deal what others think of me!God is my only judge and for some reason I just don't think a hole in my nose is going to stop me from entering the gates of heaven!I think it was summed up a couple of Sundays ago when my pastor said Jesus had two piercings one in each hand!

So anyway after the deed was done and the jewelry was in place, I was really excited that I had done it and I loved it to say the least!I in my mind told my self, I don't have to explain myself to anyone!And for the most part that is true!In my mind that is truly how I felt!

Well, needless those feelings were shot down the moment I seen my mother, I don't even think I said,"Hello"! I think I just blurted out I got my nose pierced! Oh, and then came the reaction I knew I was going to get her ranting and raving her face filled with disappointment!Then without hesitation I did what I normally would not I defended my action!I just merely told her I was 35 end of discussion and to my disbelief she let the subject go!

Today....Will be a day I will never for get! I got my nose pierced! But more importantly I got my independence (in a whole) I can now be me and not worry about what others may think! I no longer feel I need any one's approval! I got the only approval needed in my life.And that is my lord and saviors, and I get that just by being "obedient" to who he wants me to be!

BIGGEST WINNER.......

2009-11-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I was watching the "Biggest Loser" I had a big wave of happiness sweep through my heart. One by one all each contestant got to see their self for who they truly could be.Beaming with pride each one got to share their story of how the "Biggest Loser" had changed their life!

I was just over whelmed with happiness for each and every contestant as they revealed them after a brand new make over! My eyes just filled up with tears with every heart warming story.I kept thinking to myself "WOW" that's amazing what those people have gone through and how much they actually weighed at one point,( 3,4,500 lb)! What an achievement they all have made!

How awesome it must feel to have lost the weight in double and triple digit numbers in a matter of a few weeks (yeah yeah so they had trainers)!How hard each "one" had to work! How much pain "they" had to endure!To me those people are truly amazing people!That are just simply true inspiration to others!

All in all I guess? What I'm trying to say is those people are in a figurative kind of way " The Biggest Loser" but in real life they are "The Biggest Winner"

FlashBack...

2009-11-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I watched each one of them Brittany, Autumn, Lauren,Emily,and Katie(yes that =5)come strolling through the Rooster door talking and giggling about things that probably would make no since to anyone else @ them!

I could not help but have a flashback to when I was my daughter Brittany's age!How carefree and fun loving life once was! I use to think that was the only way of life, that everyone that age was living life with out a care in the world!The only difficult decision to be made was who I was going to have over the next weekend!

But as the years past by and I began to live in the real world I realized that life was not so good for some people out there!I came to see my childhood life was one a lot of people would have loved to have been able to spend just one day in!Or, gladly exchanged theirs life for!

But truthfully as the girls filed in one by one that was all I could remember was how carefree and fun loving my life was, But I don't think there was one specific memory that came to mind!

So, with that thought in mind I thought it was only appropriate that I did not allow history repeat its self especially since I truly wish for both of my girls to live a life full of fun, love and laughter! I want both of them to have cherishable memories of all the years of their life!Pictures and stories that they can one day share!

Today a memory was made of there eighth grade field trip to Charleston, S.C.! That's one most people will always remember!

But tonight....

The night of the fabulous 5 plus 2 (Katelynn and Noel) is the night they all came home from their field trip spent the night a Brittany's, danced and laughed and made cherishable memories!

The picture for this blog says it all to well! I have Flashback of the past! My girls will now have a memory!

Taste like chicken....

2009-11-12T19:29:00.000-08:00

Our front Lobby.................................says it all! We thought?

So what do you have thats good?" And "What are you flavors?"

This is why I know, I truely love my job....Come see us at the Rooster!!!!

Rain Drops too Waterfalls....

2009-11-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning in complete silence in hopes to be able to hear if the typhoon that began yesterday had come to a end!Maybe I should explain,you see after running on Sat. I had to take a break and give my body a rest to make sure I did not over do it!

So, yesterday I woke up got dressed in my normal running gear finished gathering everything I would need for my morning run! I was ready after my (2)day break! Only a person who run on a daily bases can probably relate to this form of withdrawal I seem to be having! Needless to say when the girls and I started out the door my heart just sank! It was pouring down rain!

No running for me I heard myself think out loud! I was really disappointed! As yesterday went on and the rain kept coming. I kept trying to think positive that today it would be a beautiful day for a run!

A smile came across my face, as I layed in complete silence this morning to see if I heard raindrops on my windows or water dripping onto the ground from the trees! I heard nothing but silence!I was going to get to run and get my head right for the day! At least that's what I thought

Much to my surprise as we started out the door, the wind was blowing the trees and a light mist of rain was coming down just fast enough to make the wind so cold it was unbearable to stand!Once again no running for me! So I took the girls to school came home and was completely beside myself with boredom!

I found myself thinking several time through out the day how much I hated rainy days! Then as I was on way home tonight I found my self asking God why? Why did have to rain ? Why did he have to consume the whole day with cold winds and freezing rain drops? What is the point in this much rain?And with out missing a beat....

God answered me...Your waterfalls need water! I just smiled because I love gods creation of waterfalls with their undiscribable beauty and their thunderous sounds of endless rain drops coming down the rocks!They create a unspeakable inner peace...

So let the rain keep coming as God see fit....from here on out it will always be " Rain Drops too Waterfall" for me!

Hills not Visable...

2009-11-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

The "Governors Cup" that was my goal! Tell me I can't I will show you I can! I would tell myself that on a regular bases after I started this new love affair with running!

A half marathon 13.1 miles no big deal! I run on average at least 25 miles a week and have ran up to 36 (I like to round that up to 40 just for ego purposes)! So what was 13.1 after all me and running mate Erin had done a couple of practice runs and accomplished 11 and 12.2 and felt rather good about it when we would meet our goal we had set out for that particular week of training! Another .9 of mile should be a walk in the park! Right? Oh I wished!

Race Day.....

4 a.m came rather early the day of the race not to mention I had pulled to double shifts the 2 days prior to the run, I for some reason like to think I'm the energizer bunny and I can just keep going and going..

But non the less adrenaline pumping and excitement filling the mood, It was the day (11/07/09) I had been training for! Show Time...lol So team mate in toe me and Erin psyched ourselves up and head for the Starting line!

Her saying," we got this" Me saying, "all we want to do is finish and not finish dead last"! Then out of the loud human size speakers the music from Rocky started playing and we were off!

In the beginning we were all smiles running behind other fellow marathoners following them up one hill and down another not really giving it much thought!Just looking for our next turning point and mile marker as we made our way through the course then came that mile marker 6 and the hills became more noticeable and more steeper if you want my opinion

For some reason that course they had shown us on the website failed to give us ( even in small fine print) warning that the "Hills were not Visible"! So needless to say we were not quite prepared for the entire course being of what extreme runners would call inclines (my definition; HILLS)! But out of pure determination and pride we pushed through the pain and up the hills and we cross the finish line in 2hrs 35 min (11.55 min mile)! We finished and we were not dead last! We had met our goal once again!

After returning home all of friends and family were beaming with smiles asking us how we did, and every time I would respond,"the hills were not visible" and I would rub my upper thigh as though I were in pain and smile...

I have had a couple of days to digest the fact that I actually ran 13.1 mile and I have been able to some what analyze my feeling about my accomplishment and what this says about me! And through this process one little thing kept coming to mind, "Hills not Visible" reminding me of unseen obstacles in life! And how I can over come them!

I think I may have taken a liking to the unexpected! The unknown!!!It makes me a more interesting Character.....

What's even better is knowing the unseen hills are just the "conflict in my story......."!

Life Begins w/ Changes in me.....

2009-11-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

OVER THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS (7) MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN SO MANY WAYS, MOST OF THEM POSITIVE I MUST SAY! EITHER OR LIFE HAS CHANGED AND I SIT AND WONDER SOMETIMES WHAT THE PURPOSE WAS BEHIND GOD MAKING ALL OF THE CHANGES IN MY LIFE AND LAYING THESE CONVICTIONS ON ME TO DO THIS AND QUIT THAT!

I MEAN MOST OF ALL OF THESE CHANGES I NEVER SEEN COMING, MOST PEOPLE WHO KNEW ME A YEAR AGO AND HAVE BEEN ESTRANGED FROM MY LIFE FOR ANY LONG PERIOD OF TIME IT WOULD BE LIKE MEETING A STRANGER IF THEY MEET ME TODAY,SURE I STILL HAVE CERTAIN QUALITIES ABOUT ME THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE, AND I STILL GO BY THE SAME NAME MY PARENTS GAVE ME!

BUT NOW I HAVE DAILY ANGRY CONVERSATION W/ GOD ABOUT WHY HE MADE SOME OF CHANGES IN MY LIFE THAT HE HAS, I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY/CONTENT WITH MY LIFE AND THE AND ALL THE PEOPLE IN IT! WHAT WAS THE POINT IN ALL OF THIS CHANGE!

I MEAN REALLY WE ARE NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT SMALL CHANGES, I'M TALKING BIG CHANGES FOR REAL GUYS THINK ABOUT IT CAN ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME SAY THEY EVER SAW THIS IN MY DISTANT FUTURE...... ME GIVING UP CIGARETTES TO TAKE UP RUNNING 35 TO 40 MILES A WEEK! (OH,YEAH I SAW THAT COMING TOO)

I OFTEN MAKE MYSELF DIZZY WHEN I BEGIN TO THINK ABOUT THIS NEW LIFE I AM BEGINNING AND JUST WHERE ALONG THIS NEW JOURNEY I AM SUPPOSE TO STOP AND PICK UP THE PIECES AND TAKE BACK CONTROL OF WHAT I THOUGHT TO BE MY LIFE! I MEAN FOR REAL THIS MY LIFE AND I AM THE AUTHOR OF MY STORY! I DON'T RECALL NEEDING A CO-WRITER TO HELP ME WITH MY CHAPTERS OR MY ENDING! I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG!

FIGHTING THE CONVICTIONS AND CHANGES GOD HAD IN STORE FOR ME ONLY PLACED THE HEART ACHE BACK IN MY LIFE THE ?'S OF WHY...THE OLD HABITS OF LIVING A UNHEALTHY LIFE STYLE!!!

WELL TODAY IT HIT ME IN LESS THAN A MONTH I WILL BE 35 AND I WILL BE DONE LIVED OVER HALF OF MY LIFE AND I WROTE LOTS OF SHORT STORIES...BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL ALL OF THESE CHANGES IN MY LIFE DID MY STORIES BECOME WORTH READING! SOME PEOPLE LIFE ENDS WELL BEFORE THEY HIT THE AGE 35!

THEY WILL NEVER GET TO EXPERIENCE THE CHANGES THAT I HAVE.... THEIR STORY WILL NEVER BE READ MUCH LESS TOLD!

WITH THAT SIMPLE THOUGHT I REALIZE IT WAS THROUGH GODS CHANGES IN ME... MY LIFE REALLY BEGINS!

WELCOME TO A BRAND NEW CHAPTER "ONE" OF MY STORY.......